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The choice to just BE.

This last weekend I embarked on an adventure to the beach completely by myself. I was excited and anxious as I couldn’t remember the last time I was truly alone. Before I departed for the beach, I made a grocery list, picked out a murder mystery audio book for the drive, made a new Spotify playlist, and headed out on the five and a half hour drive. I didn’t want too many things planned out, but just enough so that once I got there I was able to just sit with the Lord. There is something about being so intentional with a weekend for just yourself that feels incredibly empowering. 

As I packed my snow boots and winter jacket, I wasn’t too worried about the South Carolina beach being crowded. I switched my phone to airplane mode and was eager to experience what it would be like to actually just BE. What does it look like to just exist with anything pulling us in different directions?
 

There were two nice beds in the bedroom in the condo, but they didn’t have a view of the ocean so I chose the fold out bed right next to the windows. The view carried much more value to me than the bed I slept on. The Lord started off my first morning by waking me up for the most beautiful sunrise. I can’t even describe the vibrancy of the colors that were painted across the sky. It almost looked as though the sky was on fire. After a while, the bold colors were slowly erased from the sky and I rolled over and slept a bit longer.

I welcomed the quiet and calm that this first morning brought, without the pings of texts or notifications. I eventually got out of bed and sat on the balcony with the Lord with a fresh cup of coffee. A lot of times we can even have too much planned in our quiet times with the Lord, but it was so nice to just sit with Him and listen to the waves. The rest of the day proceeded with painting, taking a three hour long bath, reading a mystery book, cooking, and going to the beach for the sunset.

That Saturday was a day that I didn’t interact with one person. I literally had more interactions with the birds on the beach than humans (haha yes I felt a little crazy). This was a day I was alone, but I actually wasn’t lonely. There were tears, but there were also celebrations; there were things I let go of and there were things I gained.

You see, something happens when we learn to enjoy being alone for a day without any affirmation from the world. We are a culture who strives for affirmation. We look in all sorts of places (social media, relationships, work, etc.) to tell us that we are enough. It seems easier to grasp onto things of this Earth that are tangible and will also give us instant assurance that we are wanted. I continue to fall into looking to those things for quick affirmation, but it’s a solo trip like this that gave me a refreshing reminder me that even without all those things, I am enough. Just being is enough. And man it is the coolest thing to find so much joy in a weekend with yourself. Whether you’re able to take a weekend for yourself or even just go on a coffee date with yourself, I would highly recommend it.